I just got back from my dad's.

Here we go, list form.

1) My laptop shipped today, which means I get it Monday. Yay. Now I have to think up names for it, because I name all my things. And anyone interested in making me some sort of Sam-esque wallpaper would be great. I'm sure I could do it myself (note: get Photoshop for mac), but I thought I'd solicit graphics.

2) My grandma is apparently a Who fan. I mentioned to my dad where I'm going next weekend and he said she's been a fan for a long time and even has episodes on VHS. I find this strange because she's an American and was over forty when it first started airing. But she's always liked science fiction and fantasy, so maybe she got hooked when they showed it on PBS back in the day.

3) My stepmom has cancer. They know what kind, but they don't know if it's spread. She'll know Tuesday. Either way, she's having surgery to remove the cancer. Tuesday really just dictates whether there will be addition surgery to remove lymph nodes and radiation and/or chemo. She seems okay with it. As okay as you can be. My dad's not okay because he's like me and freaks out about everything. I'm... okay. This is one of those cancers that, if you're going to get cancer, you'd prefer to have. It's not incurable. It's just a matter of how much the cure takes out of you. So. I won't post much about it after this, because even though this is f-locked, I'm sure she wouldn't want me publicizing it. Just little updates here and there. But since I use this space to chronicle my life as much as I use it to ramble about fannish things, I wanted to mention it.

Now I'm going to watch TV.

My mom just called.

"Yeloooo?"

"Yelooo."

(No, seriously. This is how I answer the phone when my mom calls.)

"I'm running late and on my way home, but I was wondering if you have time before I go to New York, if you could go to Toys R'Us or something and pick up a rubber snake and a stuffed crow."

This makes more sense in light of the friendly rivalry she has going with one of her friends from New York (it started as Red Sox/Yankees and apparently turned into Patriots/Giants, so she's "eating crow") and her friend's synagogue, where the dance and sing and my mom calls them snake handlers.

But it's funnier when it's random.

I got woken up this morning at 7:45 by a call from my mom. The boiler had run out of oil, and shut off, and she needed someone to be at the house by 10 to meet with the guy who was supposed to turn it back on. Apparently it takes a special guy to do this, separate from the guy who fills the boiler. That seems sort of inefficient to me, but whatever.

I had parked last night on the busier street a block from my street, in the hopes that it meant I wouldn't get stuck. It didn't. Got stuck anyway. Luckily it's been warm enough for the last two weeks that it only took me about half an hour to use the shovel to break through the ice and shovel it away. Whoever uses that spot next owes me.

Unlike Comcast, the local company's guys showed up right after I called them to say I was here. At this point, the house was about 50. Maybe. The thermostat had bottomed out. Long story short, it took him five hours to do all the stuff he needed to do, while I sat on the couch under a blanket, trying not to shiver to death. And a bunch of pieces need to be replaced.

On a related note, I've decided I'm moving to the south of France.

Today is also my sister's birthday, so I told her I'd pick her up from Circuit City, where she was stranded while waiting for an automatic starter to be installed in her boyfriend's truck. We had lunch, and I also drove her around to various shopping places because, well, I rock.

I bought Lies and the Lying Liars that Tell Them for a dollar at the Dollar Tree. Also a grilled cheese size frying pan. For a dollar!

Toys R'Us, where I used to work during the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college, looks completely different than I remember. The video game section is twice as big, which is to be expected, and there are way less board games and puzzles. Because it's not fun if it doesn't beep.

And the store is split into genders. I am not effing kidding. The "boys" section has action figures and race cars and tools and the "girls" section has dolls, Barbies, and "just like home" kits that learn them how to get barefoot and pregnant clean like their mommies. No, really. There was a Mr. Clean kitchen cleaning set and a Dust Buster Jr. and, I don't know, maybe boys should learn how to do household chores too, and a girl might fight it handy to be able to use a hammer one day.

What the hell is going on?

When did we go backwards to 1955?

Woke up early yesterday for my trip to Beacon Hill for breakfast. JP breakfast is better, cheaper, and way closer. But I was there for friends, not the locale.

Then back to JP, wrapped up some presents, and a two hour drive down to my dad's, where I sat around for awhile and read, got some presents and then it was my dad's annual annoy-his-daughters-with-a-Hanukkah party. The only people remotely close to our age have two kids. I mostly played with my sister's dog and tried to avoid eye contact with anyone.

I'm awful.

We got back to my mom's for Hanukkah around eight. Colleen came over. She got me a nice, framed picture of Stonehenge at sunset. As of right now, I've gotten her nothing. I hate the holidays. I'm very bad at them.

She stayed until a little after one in the morning. She actually apologized to me for, once again, saying that whole "I've loved lots of people but couldn't marry them. I mean, I loved you, but couldn't marry you," thing.

I think it's the doubly pleasant sensation of someone concretely telling you that they've fallen out of love with you coupled with the total and utter lack of caring that you two actually used to talk about long term things that makes that statement so awful. But she realized she'd said something wrong and apologized. Maybe she won't say it again. Even though I'd already told her once that that was an awkward thing to say. Maybe I should have used the word terrible instead of awkward. It's not like I bring up the fact that I'm no longer in love with her in conversation. Sheesh.

If I ever have another ex again, remind me not to stay friends with her.

Anyway. We actually had some good conversations about God and religion, history, the fact that people are stupid about relationships and seem to bind themselves into these ridiculous, socialized ideas of what's Right and Wrong about having a family, being with someone (or more than one someone), getting married, etc. It's such a shame she's been told all her life that she's stupid and unimportant, and will spend the rest of her life mired in suburban obscurity; she'd make a good academic or activist, but she doesn't have confidence in her own intellect.

The Hanukkah Haul has been good so far. My sister bought me a Bloomsbury paperback edition of Half-Blood Prince while she was in London, but got the adult version instead of the kid's one. I don't really have the heart to tell her that I'd rather have the kid's one to match my others. Why the hell are their two versions, anyway? It's lucky I love you so much, English People, or I'd think you're crazy.

Oh look! It's Sam catching a ball in the warning track in center field!


(Note: There was no ball. Just a fake action shot. You know how it is. Gotta ham it up for the cameras. That's just how I roll.)

So my sister's corporate company picnic thing this year was in Fenway Park. Naturally she invited her favorite (only) sister, me. Also her boyfriend, my mom, and my mom's boyfriend. You know.

Of course it was also one of the hottest, muggiest days all summer. But I got my picture taken with the World Series trophy! And I got to walk along the field. Like, on the field. And make a fake catch, as you can see above. I sat in the dugout, put in a call to the bullpen (fake also), touched the scoreboard, and ate free food (which, in Fenway, is a huge score).

God I love baseball.

More pictures are at the above link. The World Series trophy was a fanfoto thing, so when I get it I'll share it. Naturally.

I haven't written in almost a week. Not much to say. Life continues to move forward. Stupid inertia. Stupid linear time.

I'm home from work for another few minutes, because I dropped my mom off at the hospital this morning and I told my boss I'd be late. So I'm going to be good and properly late, instead of just 30 - 45 minutes late, because I don't take a lunch. I spend ten minutes eating in front of my computer, then go back to work. So I think it's okay for me to be an hour late.

Anyway, my mom's having a biopsy, which is much scarier to me now than it was five years ago. Maybe I'm more in tune with death now. My mom's dad was in his mid fifties when he died. My mom was nineteen. She's now sixty and I'm twenty six. Words like biopsy freak me out these days.

It's probably nothing.

Most of my free time that hasn't been at my computer has been spent watching Voyager or re-playing Ocarina of Time. I remember why I hated it the first time through. The 3D controls seem so hard to manage. Super Mario 64 wasn't as much of a pain to deal with. But combat sucks.

I'm going to go out and be social tonight, lest I wallow in the fact that I have no friends here. Especially since I do have friends here. A bunch of yuppies getting drinks downtown. Whod've thunk?

Sorry for the lack of updates. It's hard when I don't do altogether much. Well, not entirely true, but...

Yesterday I went to New Hampshire and Maine, to watch my sister run a 20 mile road race. Actually, we didn't watch the entire 20 miles. We saw her off at the start (in Maine), went and grabbed lunch, and went shopping, then met her at the end (just over the Massachusetts state line). I remain forever impressed that any human being can put themselves through long distance running, let alone my little sister.

It was a surprise for her; she knew my mom was going, but not me. I think she was glad to see me, which is cool. I think we've just been waiting for maturity to become friends. Not that I'm mature, but you know.

Interlude for an unrelated but utterly fantastic commercial:


Ahem.

Despite the fact that dealing with my family pretty much always leaves me exhausted, I enjoy that we're a close little family unit. Not that we haven't always been, but it's a lot nicer when my sister and I aren't fighting all the time.

I finished this about five hours ago and forgot to post it.

My bad.

So my sister's running the Boston Marathon this year, because she's insane. But like other runners of the Marathon that aren't professionals/can't qualify, she had to find a charity to sponsor her so she could get a number and such. And, of course, for the charity to sponsor her she needs to raise money.

Her charity is the South Boston Neighborhood House. I'd link you to the website, but it's under construction. Basically they provide services for members of the South Boston community, such as after school programs, affordable child care, and a senior center. It's a charity. How bad could it be?

Anywhoo, for those that read this and have a few bucks to spare, you can donate to the charity in my sister's name by clicking this link. You know the spiel, even $5 is nice. It's for a good cause, and it's pretty cool that my sister's running the Boston Marathon.

Many thanks and such to anyone that donates.

Thanksgiving was good this year. It was just my mom, my sister, and me (Nick came by for dessert). There was no fighting, good food, and I got Dana to play Guitar Hero 2 with me. Rock on.

Speaking of, my wireless controller is a little wonky and automatically turns on star power sometimes, but I think that's 'cause of the way I'm turning it on. Other than that, it's awesome. I think I sprained my pinky playing. Stupid small hands.

I had dinner with Colleen and Chris on Monday. She's knitting me a half-size fourth Doctor scarf for Hanukkah, which is cool. Between that the scarf Jes is knitting me (red!) I'll be up to something like 8 scarves. Not that I like scarves. No.

Anyway, she and I watched three or four episodes of series one Doctor Who ("Aliens in London" through "The Long Game"). I realized that Adam was very much a set up for the introduction of Jack. All that "seems nice but isn't" and "I only travel with the best" stuff, and then you get Jack who seems not nice, but is.

Alright, that's my Doctor Who insanity for this entry.

As usual, I spent a lot of time on the couch. I caught up on Heroes, watched SVU (I'm done with that show... I'll still watch, but I just... am so disappointed with it), got sucked into a Beauty and the Geek marathon, watched the 100 Greatest Songs of the 80s countdown, and threw in a few Xena episodes, just to round things out.

My mom and I went to see The Fountain today, which was good but not great. It should have been longer, it felt as though there were parts missing. It was a very beautiful parable, though.

I'm having an insomnia problem, which I hope will stop soon. I'm stressed about... I don't know, everything. I think it's about time I got myself into therapy. I also think I need to start exercising again, because my self-esteem is not-so-slowly sliding back to where it was a couple of years ago, which was not a good place.

But! Lest I end on a bad note: the other night I had a dream where I was at some sort of government party. I was in the military, or something, because at some point someone told me that I didn't have to stand at attention. I may have been in JAG, I' not sure. The party was on the Harbor, out near Harborlights (what is now called "The Fleet Boston Pavilion" or maybe the Bank of America Pavilion, or whatever). I have no idea what the party was for, but at some point I was walking along the platforms set into the water (don't ask) and some of my friends from law school crashed the party. So by the end of the dream, I was hanging out with Bill and Kelly, and there were more people down the table, which by this point was in the water and we were in the water as well, and I felt this great sense of happiness and belonging and camaraderie.

So, the ending is that my friends are great and make me happy even when I'm at some stuffy government party in the Harbor.

I might smack my sister. Seriously. My mom bought a car for us to both use. Granted, I hung onto it most of the spring and summer, but whenever she wanted it I drove over to where she lived to give it to her. And then when she dropped it back at my house, I drove her back to where she lived. For half of this time, I was studying for the bar.

Now she's got the car full time, which is fine for the most part. I don't really need it for my day to day life. But it's like pulling teeth to get to it. I either have to pick it up at the train station in the suburbs (because she's letting her boyfriend use the car, see, to commute to work in the suburbs) or adjust my plans so I can have the car back in time for her boyfriend (who is neither me nor my sister and, therefore, not listed on the insurance and not given permission by the owner of the car to use it) to go to work early Monday morning. Snazzy.

It's just frustrating. I'm going down to the suburbs for Colleen's housewarming party, which is not something I expect to have a really fantastic time at anyway (sorry, but... not my thing) and now there's the added annoyance of dealing with the car situation.

Okay, writing about it made me feel better. I'm hungry. I'm going to a barbeque. Later.

Oh man. So I get a call at 8:30 this morning. It's Jes. I go: "omg830omgsotireddontwannaanswerwhatifit'sanemergency?" in my head and pick up the phone. (Sidenote: I actually went to bed relatively early last night. 2:30/3ish.) Her friend, whose partner had won Red Sox tickets yesterday from her law firm had an extra ticket now (her partner couldn't go... in-laws or something) and would I like to go?

Gee, me go to a Red Sox game for free in what will probably be fantastic seats? No.

Actually, though, I had to call the other room mate, 'cause she moved in today. At first I didn't succeed. But time was of an issue, so I tried tried again. She confirmed that she'd be in by noon and I could give her the key, help move a few things, and bolt.

Of course, this is Life and in Life nothing ever goes as Planned. Also, please remember to liberally sprinkle inappropriately capitalized words throughout your Life so that People know it's more Dramatic.

Anyway, she was late. Ticket-Benefactor left the ticket for me at the will call window. I walked briskly to the T, zipped through the "always two seconds away from dismembering me" charlie card reader (TM) and got to Ruggles in time to miss the last shuttle. Therefore, I had to walk. I bumped into Lydia on the way, so I just had to stop and chat. Had to. Really. Mandatory.

I really only missed the first half of the first inning, because we gave up two runs and that takes a little while.

Great game, though. Great game. God I love baseball. And it was such a perfect day for it. And the seats were awesome. I one day aspire to be married to a high powered attorney, so she can get me season tickets in a loge box. Actually, we all know I aspire to one day be married to Billie Piper, but since she could afford season tickets in a loge box, I think it'll all work out in the end anyway.

I went to my sister's afterwards, in the hopes of avoiding moving a couch and other such large pieces of furniture. She got a beer ball yesterday. On a whim. It fits in her fridge. Bah! Anyway, we drank beer in chilled beer chalices (no, seriously, her boyfriend bought them at an antique store... they're from the 50s or something) on their roof deck overlooking the city. God I love Boston.

Then it got a little chilly (because the weather is completely and totally normal and please buy more gas, thanks) so we went in to her nice new apartment with a panoramic view of the city. God I love Boston. And we played with her boyfriend's lizard thing.

I came home to find that all the stuff had already been moved. Woot. And now my TiVo is set up, and as soon as I find my switcher thing, I'm going to set up the DVD player, and I can finally catch up on my Netflix. Or watch more Doctor Who. The Ninth, you know. Probably both.

Really tired. Good day, though. Good day.

I just ate an obscene amount of corned beef and cabbage. I also drank a black and red (Guinness and Killian's) which was faboo. Faboo. So, yeah. Minor celebration of St. Pat's the day afterwards (I cooked the dinner in four pots for six of us: two corned beefs, three cabbages, and three giant potatoes... and there aren't that many leftovers). Jack and his daughter joined us, the us being my sister, Nick, and my mom. Funness.

Have been dwelling a bit more on V, but don't feel lucid enough to make any interesting statements.

There's another wank happening at my school. This time the Queer Caucus is upset about a fundraiser that's being held. It's a Drag Queen/King competition, and the QC wasn't approached about it and now certain members feel as if it's a bit insensitve on the part of the Student Government. I'm not sure why the QC gets to have a say in everything involving gender, but apparently they do. Personally, I thought it was a good idea. Whatever. Now we're not supposed to talk about it in email, because of the Palestine/Israel wank, but half of us aren't even in school right now because of co-op. Neato. We'll see how this goes. I will take an extra long lunch break to go to this meeting if I have to, dagnabit, because even though I'm graduating I'm a bit upset about the direction the school is taking.

So.

Now I'm going to play the Sims 'til I'm bored and maybe sleep after that. Tomorrow I'm going shopping for a new X-Box controller, maybe some PS2 games, and some jeans. Rock.

Well, I'm back.

I may have mentioned that my mom was coming last week to visit for my birthday (which was Thursday). Well, after a wonderful sushi dinner with Deb and Kate (in which I recieved excellent presents: 2 tickets to the Bruins from Kate, and a funny law book & naked woman wallet from Deb [hilarious]), we wandered over to the Financial District to meet my mom at her hotel. As we were crossing the street, I saw a cab and thought maybe we timed it so perfectly that we'd meet her right as she got out. And then I saw someone that looked familiar. And realized that it was my sister! So my sister surprise-visited me for my birthday! Very cool.

So the five of us had a drink and dinner (for those that had yet to eat). Then mom and Dana went to sleep, and Kate, Deb, and I went out to a dyke bar. Seriously. Very gay. I then realized that I have something mentally wrong with me, as I got so nervous that I was physically ill. This is a problem that I'll analyze more in a future entry. Kate and I took a cab back towards our neighborhood, it dropped her off on the way, and I went upstairs to get into my apartment... only to find that the top lock was locked. I don't have a key for the top lock. I knocked. I tried all my keys, just in case. I knocked again. I texted Kate. I went downstairs and rang the bell, then ran back up to knock (slamming my finger in the gate in the process). I knocked some more. I eventually gave up and spent the night on Kate's couch. Wahoo.

The next day, my family and I went to Alcatraz (pictures are forthcoming: since my camera was locked inside of my apartment, they're on my mom's memory card). Well, actually, first we wandered around the city looking for breakfast, only to end up at another hotel about 1/4 mile away, where we rushed through breakfast, ran to find a cab, and made it to Pier 41 just in time for the boat to leave without us. Luckily, they let us get on the next departure. While we waited, Dana and I tried to figure out how to turn on mom's camera, took some pictures of some harbor seals, and I whined about not having my sunglasses.

Alcatraz was cool. I mean, insomuch as it's a former federal penitentiary. I'd have liked to spend more time there, but I'm more into history than my fellow tourists were. And by fellow tourists, I mean my family.

After Alcatraz, we wandered around Fisherman's Wharf. The Blue Angels were in town for fleet week, so we saw their practice (we actually saw some from Alcatraz, too). Anyway. We had lunch at an Italian seafood restaurant. I had a fantastic sea bass, and only feared death-by-crab when my sister was cracking open the legs in her seafood stew. After lunch we continued our wandering, stopped in a few shops (and at a tent for Blue Angels merchandise since, by now, my mom was completely enthralled with them... which is understandable, since flying fasts jets in death defying manners is pretty cool), and over to Ghiardelli Square. Mmm, choclatey. I quoted Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 400 times, Dana threatened homicide, and that was that.

We waited 30 minutes for the 19, eventually gave up and took a taxi over to Haight (right when the 19 showed up). I stopped in my apartment to gather things for the weekend (my mom got me a room in the hotel also), and for Dana and mom to get warm (a recurring theme). Then we wandered up to look at some of the shops. Dana found some ugly Nike sneakers she liked, but they weren't in her size. The shop closed, we went and grabbed my stuff from my place, and took the bus back to the hotel. Well, the vicinity. Up Market and then we walked. Dana took a shower to get warm. We argued about dinner (another recurring theme), and eventually ended up at The Globe. It was really good. I had homemade gnocci with oxtail something or other. Who knew oxtail was tasty? I'm sure Sully did.

The hotel we were staying at is in the Financial District (because this is San Francisco, it's apparently referred to as FiDi). It's amazing how similar all financial districts are. Modern and grey, with tall buildings that have pre-planned greenery. And dead on weekends.

The next morning we argued about breakfast, eventually ending up eating at the buffet in the hotel. That's fine with me: as long as there's bacon, I tend not to be picky about breakfast. There was bacon. Then mom's friend from medical school (and his wife) picked us up. We drove around the city a bit... mostly so we could drive down Lombard Street. Wicked fun. The world needs more ridiculously curvy, steep streets.

Then we went to Muir Woods, where the redwoods live. Fantastic. I could spend a whole day in there, just wandering around and reading and all of that. As much as I hate nature (we just antagonize each other), it's such a lovely and wonderful, calm place to be. I have many pictures up at flickr of the experience. I think that this one best captures the size of them, because the people put it into perspective:



Needless to say, I managed to reference Ents at least 50 or 60 times. My mom dropped the Lorax. All in all, pop culture tree references = fun for all.

Afterwards we went to Tiburon for lunch at a seafood restaurant. It was very warm. And by warm, I mean hot. I had a burger, and only worried about crab-induced death when my sister and mom were passing a crab salad sandwhich back and forth. Honestly, God mocks me with my allergy. "Live in a land locked state," He says, "way less seafood restaurants there. Muahahaha."

After Tiburon, mom's friend dropped us in Sausalito. We wandered around some of the shops. I got ice cream (there are NO ice cream shops in San Francisco!). We took the ferry back. That was a nice ferry ride, though the sun was going down so it was getting a bit cold.

[ End Part One. I'm off to a coffee shop to enjoy the day. Back later to finish it up. ]

I probably should be cleaning my room. Although, really, there's not much left to do besides organizing and getting rid of the little things. This is the hardest part and, as such, I've decided to put it off until the daylight. I'm going to spend the next few hours playing Sims 2, because I'm going to be severely video game deprived this fall. No X-Box, no Game Cube, and my laptop is in the shop until God-only-knows. Kate is being kind enoguh to lend me her laptop 'til mine is fixed (because she rarely uses hers and I'm constantly attached to computers in general), but I don't know that it'll run Sims 2. It might.

Hung out with Joe this afternoon, which was nice. I haven't seen him in forever. We ran some errands, I went to go get a milkshake (wtf happened to all the Blisses in the area?), we watched some baseball and SVU. Just like old times.

I feel a little guilty that I may not get a chance to see my dad before I leave, but I don't know what to do. I don't have the car - or the time, really - to go down to Rhode Island to visit. He said he might come up here, which is... shocking, to say the least. If it actually happens, I might start to get worried that he's terminally ill. Not to get cynical, but I think he's been here once since I moved here. It'd be nice to see him, but... eh, internal conflict.

It's not like I'm leaving forever.