My last round of dreams this morning left me feeling miserable. They weren't so bad that I woke up crying (it's happened), but I've got this sort of lump of sadness in my chest that doesn't seem to want to go away.

( Cut for the uninterested. )

I was fine until I went to sleep last night. Then had weird dreams involving dreams of apocalypses, cute girls that worked at MCDonalds, sleeping in hollowed out ice caves, and Mr. Roger's watch collection. Altogether very odd.

So I'm leaving for worj in about half an hour, which is about an hour before I need to be there (and there is about 20 minutes away) because I'm worried aboutt raffic and parking and getting lost on one way streets. Though I pretty much have it figured out.

I'm also not entirely sure which shoes to wear, as I prefer my dress men's shoes, but will feel very self-concious about them if I wear them on the first day. So I dunno. We'll see.

Later.

It was supposed to be rainy and now isn't. Which makes me more upset that I'm not at Fenway, but I'll deal.

Good news this morning, nice weather, and haunting dreams. Another day in the life of Sam, I guess.

( The dream, cut for non-caring individuals )

I have two huge housewarmer candles, one Macintosh and one Clean Cotton, on my desk. I think I'll bring the Mac one up to school.

Watched Pulp Fiction last night, only about the third or fourth time, I think. I'm excited for Kill Bill Vol. 2 (etoilepb, I definitely want to go, but I have my huge-ass final presentation on the 16th, so I'm not sure what my schedule is going to be like, yet). I think I'll wait for the Special Edition of both on DVD.

Ugh, I have to wear a suit next Friday. Ugh ugh ugh. And find something to wear to the formal that doesn't make me feel like a gorilla. WIth a bowtie. ;-)

Alright, things to do and places to be.

Back from my trip to Mohegan Sun and home. Blackjack is funnnn. Video poker, whilst fun, causes me to lose too much money. Henceforth, and hitherto, and therefore it shalt not be played again.

This is the dream that I had last night, or what I can remember of it:

I was a commando person, exploring a house. This was the Resident Evil house. I knew it, even though the set up didn't match anything from either the game or the movie. There was a lot of opening of doors, and peeking around corners though.

This was the part of my dream where I was afraid. I kept waking up and falling back asleep only to continue the dream, which never happens when I want it to. This only served to make me more afraid, for some reason.

The T-Virus has escaped, and people were turning into zombies. Sort of. For those of you who don't know, there is this virus in RE and the infected people become, basically, zombies. [In my opinion, it would be cooler if they were perfectly fine while alive, but once they died the cirus was activated. But instead, it slowly kills their body and raises it again. And that's also how it worked in my drea].

At some point, the house flickered into that huge castle that you play in Super Mario 64. Probably because that also involves opening a lot of doors.

Anyway, I remember getting glimpses of people through bars, running somewhere.

And then some of us broke out, but it didn't matter because the virus had already spread. Some people were immune, and we didn't know why [funny that I watched an episode of "Sargate SG-1" today like that]... and the next few minutes are sort of fuzzy in my memory. Throwing something through glass.. shooting some infected people... I don'tknow.

So I head down the street [?] to this clinic thing. The doctor there is Fred, from "Angel". Sort of. She's Fred and also not Fred. And her partner is infected. [Like.. science partner and girlfriend, I think] and she's quartentined, and I don't understand why everyone in that room isn't dead yet, but they're not. So I comfort her. And I'll skip the sex scene here, because I'm pretty sure this is a PG-13 rated journal. [http://www.mpaa.org/] But it was very intense, because we both thought we could die at any minute.

And then she wanted to swim out to the dump thing in the ocean. So I went with her, since I'm fairly certain we're like... together... at the point [maybe time has passed, maybe not] and I knew that if we could get there, there would be a clue in the dead bodies [since they were there].

And then I woke up.

---

My "Blue Crush" poster came yesterday, while I was gone. Yaaay.

So now I have: the 3d "The Matrix" poster, "Resident Evil" [french], "Blue Crush" and... um.. another one that I can't remember for the life of me.

Damn.

Well, I need to change and go to sleep.

Pleasant dreams. :)

I've had this one before, and remember it. Some details are different. Some I can tell have been effected by my multiple watchings of Resident Evil.

I'm in a building... it's a store and offices, at the same time. I'm trapped there. There are malevolent forces keeping me and this other person there. We don't belong there, which is why we're trapped. People keep dying. On the lobby floor there's an army of... teenagers, I think. Young people. They don't like me, but won't kill me because they're against the malevolent force that runs this place. Who has an army outside the building to keep us in. And there's deadly gas in the exit/entrance vestubles. There are elevators, but I know that if I take them I'll die. They're like... slabs of metal with no walls or ceiling, and not as wide as the elevator tunnel... so I could just fall off.

So I use the stairs.

The 6th floor is always women's clothes and sporting goods. Every time I have the dream.

This time, there were also people eating there.. and a beautiful woman trying to get my attention so I would bring her along. Then she'd kill me.

There's a floro with the Malevolant Force. Sometimes it's Bowser fromthe Mario Bros. games. More often than not, though, it's a giant winged man in a designer suit. Which explains to me why Lucifer from "The Sandman" struck me. And I can defeat him... sometimes... usually with a sword. But somehow we're related. Not when he's Bowser, though... that's when I ahve to work as a team with people. Even though I'm the only one, in the end, who can defeat him.

Come ot think of it, when it's Bowser we fight him somewhere else. Im the only character than can go to the floor with the Malevolent Force. It's not a high floor. I want to say 31, but could be wrong.

The building itself is at least 100 stories. Once in the dream, I remember taking an elevator up that high. And then it was like a parking garage that high. And there was a cafeteria on the observation deck. Odd.

There's always a garage in the basement, also, and the elevators open into a glass "lobby" there. And usually there are dead bodies of commandos dressed all in black... they'd tried to get in.

Last night... last night I don't remember much besides floor 6 and the lobby. There were some business men I was evading, just before I went down to the lobby.

Oh, the beautifuk woman... she'd followed me up from the lobby, as my friend [a huge kid... 300 pounds at least] too the elevator up to floor 6. We were going to meet him there, and ended up running so far that we were on floor 7b. So we went back down. Then I heard a noise and said to her: "The computer knows your face, it's going to kill you." [and that was directly from the commentary on RE]. But it didn't kill her, it "converted" her, and so she was trying to convince me to keep her with me, so she could kill me.

Odd, that I've got so many dreams in that building. Odd that this dream helped me to remember the others. I'm writing it down so I won't forget for next time I have the dream.

I had a dream last night. I like when I remember dreams even though they make me feel sort of sad and alone and unloved.

Because all the dreams I remember seem to involve just the opposite.

Anyway, this dream... it was two nights ago, not last night. But I had another good one last night.

Two nights ago I had this dream that involved the soap opera I watch. Stop laughing, you dorks. They drew me in with the gay teenage character, and I've been stuck ever since. As I explained on the boards: sometimes you just grasp for anything that you can relate to. Anything at all.

So, right, the dream. I was in the Pine Valley Inne, which is the Inne that's in this town. I was a cross between me and this character Bianca... the gay teen character. Though she's now 19 or 20 I think. Well, 19 is still teen but... bleh. So when I'm me I'm her friend, and when I'm her I'm her.. right. I don't remember much other than that it was snowing in the room we were in. And then I wasn't me anymore, I was BIanca and maggie was trying to tell me she was in love with me.

And Maggie would be... wow, complicated. She's the girl that ABC has been using to tease us fans of seeing a gay romance. So... flirting followed by three months of no storylines with them.

Yes, so, Maggie was in love with me. And I felt as though I was betraying Bianca - because I was me again and she digs Maggie - and also confused because I was also Bianca.

But it's really nice to feel loved, even if it's by crazy soap opera characters and you're so crazy that you're dreaming of them. It's nice to have someone interested enough in the romance that she makes it snow in your room all so she can write Maggie love -Name- [sometimes mine, sometimes Bianca] on something or other in the snow.

Yes, romance.

---

Last night i had a dream about romance too, sort of. I was an ER doctor. Like, from the TV show. Follow along here: my dreams are about TV shows and movies and lost unrequited loves.

So, I'm off to this conference thing. But first I get the idea that Weaver is cheating on her girlfriend with Carter. Which is weird. BUt I'm meant to believe that it's a hormone thing. So to this conference we go, she and I. And the guy who's the conierge dude is Jerry... who's the tall guy from the main desk [and Olaf in Buffy]. And we get there and Weaver starts flirting with this girl I dig. Who's, like, a frizzy haired version of the girl from the newest PLanet of the Apes - Estella Warren. I've never found her particularly attractive, but apparently my subconcious has different ideas. We really need to work on our communication skills.

Well, as Weaver's flirting, Sandy shows up to stay with her as a surprise. And hah, I think , for now I can move in. And I do. And the girl responds. RESPONDS. 'Cause she was intersted in me all along. Woohoo for my dream ego. My dreamgo. Hah.

And then there's a cyclone and a flood andall sorts of weird stuff. BUt there was a kissing scene, too.

And my dreams are odd, I know.

And that's that.

And and and.

---

I finished my final. And the ibuprofen has kicked in, so I'm going to finish my scifi paper... right now.

You know one of those dreams where you feel this sort of exhagerated emotion? Like, you wake up and your heart's pounding and you feel really realy loved or really happy or really sad, or whatever's relevant to the dream?

This was one of those.

For some reason I was in this tex-mex like restuarant. Which was, apparently, the upstairs living room of my house. That meant that my sister's room was to my left [when I was at the bar] and my room was past that. But Colleen was in my room and her grandmother was in my sister's room. And downstairs, her parents had just left for vacation. I think.

Anyway, who shows up but Lani [um, high school crush]. And she jogs in. And I'd just come from the gym. I could feel her watching me as I talk to Colleen and when Colleen left [to go to my room]I strike up a conversation with her about why she's jogging in hiking boots. I'm not sure where it goes from there, but she mvoes close to me and put my hand on her thigh... but I move it when Colleen comes out. Then Colleen goes back in, and Lani takes my hand and entwines our fingers and rests it back on her thigh.. and then says something like "well, if you're.. not with anyone.." and I felt her interest... and I knew it was a dream... but it was so nice to be liked by someone that I had a serious crush onfor, oh, 4 years of my life.

I know she's going to read this one day and that will embarass the heck out of me.

Maybe I'll make it friends only.

Anyway, st some point Colleen came back out and rolled her eyes at me and told Lani that of course I'd want ot date her, ebcause I'd had a crush on her for so long, and she was happy for us. And then I think we kissed, though it was jsut a peck sort of thing. But then I woke up.

And I woke up feeling happy and in love, and it toko a second before real life came back to me and I felt lonely again.

Weird ass dream last night.

So I was a pirate [ I blame Katherine ] on a ship, and our Captain was... um.. I think he fell through the deck. Regardless, we got some treasure and managed to kick other pirates' butts that were trying to steal it. Oh, and I was a Gonzo. I know this because a) my fellow pirates were Fozze and Gonzo and b) when Fozzie started making out with Brittney Murphy, I started complaiing that I had to be a Gonzo in my dream instead of a Fozzie.

It's really weird to see Brittney Murphy making out with a muppet.

Anyway, I don't think I wasparticularly interested, since she was a skank [in my dream, anyway] and plus apparently I was having an interesting love affair with Elizabeth Hurley.

There were some scenes in this restaurant that involed Liz [how I referred ot her in my dream] coming out to one-up Ms. Murphey on my behalf [re: get her out of there]. Then there was this bit where I ran away and hid, which is actualyl a common theme in my dreams: I have vivid memories of dreams in which I'm looking for places to hide, and usually stay in one place for a sec before going somewhere else, to trick the people trying to find me.

In this case, it was my family and the family we were staying with [they owned the restaurant and were Brittney Murphy fans]. Their kid came and fund me in the attic, where the daughter [who was off at college] had a room.

So the two families converge on me playing rock and roll. WEIRD.

Then there was this funkay scene by an outdoor hot tub, in which Liz and Ms. Murphey were going to go in 'to make peace' and Liz asked me nicely and kissed my knee to make sure I was okay with it. And Hugh Grant was there, because he had been watching her dogs, one of which was a Cairn Terrier [when the dog bounded up, I was fairly certain the mother of the other family was Ms. Sanford, but then it faded because I remember her looking like a larger woman with shoulder length white hair] and I said, distinctly, "Toto." And in my dream I started to think that this was a dream about going home.

And then my alarm went off.

Weird.

Had to write that down, but now I"ve got to run to work or I'll be late.