Well, I figured out why they have tons of DVRs in the suburbs.

The boxes are town specific.

What?

Town specific boxes? In 2007? The software is town specific? WTF? Look, it's not like it's 1992 and no one even has a modem. These boxes get their information via broadband cables at high speeds. My Tivo isn't town effing specific, and it's the same idea. Exact same, in fact. Except the TiVo has to connect to the internet via a wireless adapter that gets connectivity from Comcast. GRRRRRRRR.

Of course today the Roxbury (not West Roxbury) office has plenty. 'Cause, you know, I'm in the city and all.

Oh wait.

So I'll go back to the city early and go to Roxbury. I'm accepting bets on the likelihood that they'll actually have an HD DVR there.

If they don't I'm getting satellite.

And thank you to the anonymous commenter, but the only cable service available in my area is Comcast. No RCN, No Verizon TV, nothing but Comcast and Direct TV.

Yeah, Comcast. I can see why you wouldn't have any HD DVRs in Boston. Since there are twenty sitting in the suburban office where my mom lives.

What. The. Hell.

Road trip!

So the Mayor of a town is the one responsible for signing a town/city up for a particular cable contracts. Boston is stuck with Comcast. You all know I've had plenty of issues with Comcast.

Latest issues: they continue to be out of stock on HD DVRs. WTF? It's been months. Apparently you just have to show up and hope they have one on a day they might get a shipment of something (they're not sure what, because the people at the local office aren't told what's in the shipment). Or you can pay $20 to have a subcontractor deliver one (between the hours of 8am and 4pm and he'll show up at 5pm). If he has one, which he might not.

Did I miss something? Do they communicate via carrier pigeon? What year is this? There's been a shortage on HD DVRs for months and they haven't, oh, upped shipments? They don't even tell the local offices when shipments are coming in and what the inventory is? This is how they do business?

Can we get a new cable television provider in Boston? Please?

I am this close to posting to b0st0n and asking if people know of any alternative HD signal providers. And internet providers. If I weren't moving in three months, I'd already be signed up for something.

I went to the local Comcast office this morning (after a debacle of a trip to the grocery store) and they were out of HD DVRs. Not just out at that office, no, but out in the entire Boston area. And they didn't know when they were getting any back in. To which I told the young woman, who seemed very unconcerned, that DirectTV offers free installation. Her (obviously more experienced) co-worker then interrupted what she was doing and told me to wait. She called around and confirmed that, yeah, no one in the Boston area is getting an HD DVR for at least a month, unless they pay $20 to have it delivered by some independant contractor that shows up whenever he feels like it AND PLUGS FIVE PLUGS IN. Oh, excuse me, six if you count the power plug. Why would I pay $20 for that? They should pay me $20 for not wasting anyone's time with that.

More on how Comcast thinks we're all morons in a minute.

So while I was there, I picked up an extra digital box for Jes' room, 'cause I promised her about eight months ago that I'd get one. The guy who set up our cable said that whenever we get our TVs moved in, we can just get some boxes and hook them up.

But wait! If it were that easy, it wouldn't be Comcast!

Guess who's not getting a signal in the new digital box? Me! And I moved the old digital box to my room, with the old TV, and I'm not getting a signal there. I wait. I send an autorefresh from the phone system. I wait. I call.

First question: is your box plugged in. Yes. Thanks. Second question: is it plugged into the right dodads.

Look, man, I've worked tech support in computer labs. I've just plain worked in computer labs. People are morons, I get that. In some cases, people don't read the language that the "AV IN" thingies are printed in (English). Okay, sure.

But then she asks me if I'm sure! Yup! And after I explained for the tenth time what my situation is (one box old, one box new), she tells me there are no signals, in a tone of voice that, essentially, says that it's my fault. And I say, "right, okay, what are you going to do about that?"

Charge me more money! Yay! 'Cause that dude who said he "activated the outlets" never actually activated anything. We (the customer "service" agent and I) figured that out after she asked me if he told me that he activated them.

My response: "Well, I didn't record the conversation. He told me that I could hook a box up as soon as I get a TV in here, no problem. I'm guessing that means he activated them."

Her response: "Let me sign you up for an appointment."

Me: "Will that cost me money?"

Her: "Yes."

Me: "Well DirectTV installation won't!"

Jes and I have decided we don't need the extra boxes in our rooms, so those are going back ASAP (shockingly, the Comcast local offices are closed this afternoon while the greater Boston area employes all go learn how to screw you in places you don't want to be screwed), which means Friday, probably.

And I'm seriously considering another service when we move at the end of the summer. This is years of Comcast crappiness. There must be some way out!