I'm resisting the urge to make my quasi-annual entry about how I'm feeling morose because something in my life is changing. So consider yourself lucky.

[ I'm not ready to be a grown up. I'm not comfortable inside my own body. I don't like being alone. I don't want my friends to leave me. I don't know if I can pass the bar. I don't want to be average. ]

Okay, there we go. Vomit a little out and I should feel better and spare you the rest.

So let's recap.

Yesterday, I didn't get to record All My Children because I'm an idiot about TiVo Season Passes.

Today, my internet doesn't work. I think it's my network card, so don't bother calling Comcast; I called Gateway. Gateway (after I'm on hold) decides it's an issue with Comcast (after I had to explain to the woman that you can, actually, connect to the internet without a phone line). I insist that she's wrong, but that's fine. She won't do anything else for me, anyway; she refuses.

I call Comcast and am on hold for 15-20 minutes. The first step the tech support woman wants me to take is to uninstall my network card from the device manager. I do so. I'm unable to reinstall it, which she says is really strange (she tells me later, before she abandons me, that it's the first time she's ever seen that in her "many" years of tech supporting). Since she's not allowed to stay on the phone with me while I download a driver from another site (this was after I spent 20 minutes searching for my discs, which I know are here somewhere), I pretend I'm not downloading it (on my laptop, which is stealing wireless from who knows where) and take a ridiculously long time to switch the network cable from my desktop to my laptop.

We fix the problem and, lo, my laptop connects to the internet. It is obviously, then, a problem with the desktop. Gee, I"m glad I wasted all my time then. Go Gateway (for the record I have the full warranty plan with them, including on-site service).

Since by that time it was about 2pm and I had yet to eat or shower, I decided to watch South of Nowhere and eat lunch, because food and cute teenage girls in love with each other make me happy. Apparently my room mate, who never watched TV, decided to watch TV last night during South of Nowhere. So I made it through 15 minutes. Great. So much for that mood improver. Not that I begrudge him TV time, I just wish I'd checked last night 'cause I could've TiVoed another showing and still been able to see it today. Now I'll have to wait 'til I get back.

And, really, that's the only thing that's keeping me from having a breakdown (yes yes, small issues... but my issues): this time tomorrow I"ll be well on my way to Hawaii. Whew. If I can't fix my desltop today, I can wait 'til I'm back. And though it's not something I want to deal with returning to, it's something I don't have to worry about for the next 8 days.

That's all. Now I think I'm going to go take a shower, and then try with Gateway again.

(Oh, I think someone just went into the bathroom. Cool. Hopefully not to shower. That would suck for me.)

I don't know what to pack. I've never moved anywhere for only three months before, let alone somewhere with a different kind of climate than what I'm used to. Will I need a scarf and hat? How many sweaters should I pack? What about short sleeve shirts?

I expect that most of what I'll wear will be work clothes, pajamas, and whatever weekend clothes I feel like. Which actually means I won't need a lot. But bringing only three pairs of jeans and a pair of shorts feels weird, even though, really, that's about all I wear. Which is part of my problem; I own about five times more than I actually wear. Then my mom busts out with "bring nice clothes," and now I'm feeling completely lost and confused, because I can't for the life of me think of anything I own that's nice, besides clothes I work in.

Meanwhile there's still a large pile of junk that I don't even know why I own lying on my bed waiting to be thrown in the trash or recycling bin.

I'm basically planning for three months and trying to fit it into two suitcases and two carry-ons. I don't know what the big deal is, but at the same time I'm totally freaked out. I don't want to leave, but I just want the move to be over with.

Stupid grown-upness.

Edit: Thank jeebus for the internets.